The last few years I have been stretching my comfort zone levels. I've been trying new things and allowing other things to happen that in times past would have sent me completely around the bend. Most of these things have to do with my comfort level about my home. Having people drop by would be a Xanax moment. Having people stay would require more inner fortitude than I've got.
I started small. Making sure to invite in anyone who came to my door. Well, anyone but salesmen. And I instituted a policy where if a child is selling something for a fundraiser of some sort, I will buy at least one thing. That policy is popular amongst the neighborhood kids. And it's OK since my neighborhood is kind of older, so there aren't that many kids to raise funds in the first place.
Then a couple years ago a scout knocked on my door. He was going around the neighborhood collecting stuff to make a bunch of quilts for the childrens hospital for his eagle scout project. I not only invited him inside, I even had him and his mom come into my sewing room and help me rummage around for all sorts of stuff for him to use. And I lived through the process.
Dwaine and his family have been working on becoming closer since his dad died. But none of those guys live in the same state. So I had to branch out further in my home comfort level and establish a guest bed which has now, finally, turned into a guest room And I even have TWO guest beds now. And it was good to start out with Dwaine's brothers and a cousin. The brothers love me no matter what and they also call a couple days in advance to give me warning. The cousin? Well, sometimes I've got 4 hours notice from him. Most of the time he finds himself about an hour away from a truck stop in Salt Lake City and remembers that he can come stay with us instead of sleeping in the truck. And that has helped me learn to roll with the punches of my comfort level.
This week, Heidi, her mother and all four kids have descended upon my home. And my comfort level has been redefined yet again. Telling Heidi that my home was available to her whenever she could get that appointment in Salt Lake City was hard for me to do. When she called me on Monday to tell me that they were coming on Thursday, it was difficult for me to not want to run away and hide. But I didn't. Instead, I cleaned and moved furniture and put away the Christmas stuff so there was more room for more seating in the living room. And they came to my home yesterday. And all was well.
And I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to host this family while they go through some pretty stressful times.
I will probably always have issues with people coming to visit me, for however long they come. But I'm no longer paralyzed by this fear. I keep chipping away at it. And it's all good.