I am a Mormon Catholic. Or a Catholic Mormon. Depending on your point of view. I'm just letting you know that I have dual citizenship in two formal religions. So now I'm sure you know where I stand on the issue of same sex marriage.
I'm against it.
BUT before your knickers get totally tangled up, I'll attempt to explain myself. And I'll completely understand it if you don't agree with me. My youngest daughter is gay and I can feel her eyes rolling into the back of her head from here.
It isn't fair that a married couple has more rights to be viewed as a couple than a gay couple. A couple that is committed to each other enough to want to become entangled in all their dealings, financial and other, should be offered the opportunity to do so. I think it's a tragedy that my daughter's partner, who should know her better than I do, would not be able to tell medical personnel what her wishes would be. The medical community would have to wait for my husband and me to travel from Utah to Ohio to make these decisions for her. Granted, because I'm completely aware with how close my daughter is to her partner, I would consult with partner and enact the decisions that she makes, but it's just an unfair practice. And, yes, daughter and partner could go to a lawyer and have several different types of legal documents drawn up to help everyone understand their relationship and who daughter wants making this type of decision for her, but that's a lot of time and money. And it would be pretty much a waste of time and money if I decided to be vindictive mom and fought those documents in court.
What a waste of time, energy and effort to attempt to legally formalize what is a very close, personal relationship.
First off, I think that our country needs to come up with a Civil Union something or other. The Civil Union would be the legal agreement between two committed people that allows them all the rights and privileges afforded to legally married couples today. Rights of survivorship and health insurance and buying a home together and sharing all debts and all that jazz.
Then the churches can take over marriages. Because in my belief system, marriage is ordained by God for the union of a man and a woman. So it stands to reason that if I believe that God said we should be married, the church should be the place to get married. But this marriage business is between the couple and God and the state should stay out of this ceremony.
I know that in several places in Europe, couples must get "married" by some government official in one ceremony and then, if the couple chooses, they can have another ceremony in a church or a field or castle or wherever to solemnize their vows in front of God and family and friends. I truly think that this is the way to go.
It appears that my biggest stumbling block is the insistence to call a union a marriage. I really want marriage to stay between a man and a woman. But I believe that anyone who desires to be united with a partner "until death do we part" should be allowed that opportunity.
I totally see your point! You're right, everyone else is wrong. :)
Posted by: tracey | May 30, 2008 at 08:24 AM
We agree to a point. I also believe that the state should not be in the business of legalizing marriage for anyone. Only civil unions should be granted by the state, no matter whether it is a gay or straight couple, with all the rights and responsibilities that are currently given to married couples. Leave issues of faith to the churches. Until that it done, I'm okay with gays marrying if straights can do the same.
Posted by: Dee Dee | May 30, 2008 at 01:50 PM
Yeah, what Dee Dee said. I'd happily give up my marriage for a civil union and leave "marriage" for churches. But I think that issue is semantics, so I'm all for same sex marriage or whatever the legal term is.
Interestingly enough, in many areas where same sex marriage is not yet legal, churches of some types will bless a same sex union. Confusing.
Posted by: Arlene | May 30, 2008 at 02:02 PM
I have typically been against Civil Unions but you build a reasonable case. I am not sure I would want a Civil Union to have "ALL" the rights of married couples as one could argue what was/is the difference? None the less, it makes sense that there should be some sort of method to allow same sex partners the ability to be responsible for the obligations taken upon each other together as well as being able to take care of each other.
Posted by: Dustmite | June 01, 2008 at 09:26 AM
I agree. I attended a gay wedding last weekend and one f the brides was raised a devout Catholic. I was so happy to see her be legally united with the woman she loves. However, marriage is a sacrament and the rules of hte sacrament are that marriage is between a man and a wife. Therefore, there needs to be some sort of separate union for gays. I want my friend to have the same legal rights, definitely. However, the gay groups think "separate but equal" is akin to racism in the 40's. There really is no good solution. BUt what I want to know is, is it the sacrament they truly want or is all to prove a point? I can never be sure as I won't walk a mile in their shoes. I for one wouldn't want something that didn't want me. Did that make sense? Your daught is lucky to have such a loving and compassionate mom such as yourself.
Posted by: Casey | September 26, 2008 at 11:22 AM
I agree. I attended a gay wedding last weekend and one f the brides was raised a devout Catholic. I was so happy to see her be legally united with the woman she loves. However, marriage is a sacrament and the rules of hte sacrament are that marriage is between a man and a wife. Therefore, there needs to be some sort of separate union for gays. I want my friend to have the same legal rights, definitely. However, the gay groups think "separate but equal" is akin to racism in the 40's. There really is no good solution. BUt what I want to know is, is it the sacrament they truly want or is all to prove a point? I can never be sure as I won't walk a mile in their shoes. I for one wouldn't want something that didn't want me. Did that make sense? Your daught is lucky to have such a loving and compassionate mom such as yourself.
Posted by: Casey | September 26, 2008 at 11:22 AM